Motherhood is a gift…
Until you have more than one kid. Then it becomes a battle of who could care less (name that band). You went from being an awesome parent with the patience of a saint to a woman with the voice of a demon. How quickly the parenting differences between first and second children parenting can change you!
You didn’t mean for this to happen but as your first child became more of a toddler you decided to add a new baby to the mix. You only have so much to give each day and tolerate so much before you start to change. Being a
lazier more relaxed mom was never your intention but that’s what you are. Some people will help you feel better about yourself by saying you are just less uptight than the first time around. But you know the truth, you are just plain tired and want everyone to take a long nap so you can recoup!
Nine months into being a mom of two I have come to find that I have changed my parenting techniques with Baby boy compared to Baby girl. I wouldn’t say I’m a bad mom because that term is being overused but I would say I’m a different mom.
Here are some of the ways parenting your first child is different than parenting your second child (or for you braver than me mamas, your 3rd, 4th, or 5th child!).
1st Child: Never heard you yell minus at Comcast.
2nd Child: Hears it often due to toddler and parent yelling at the toddler to stop yelling or they will wake the baby that it took an hour to get to sleep.
1st Child: Doesn’t watch tv until a year old
2nd Child: Can sing Doc McStuffins theme song by 3 months old. Maybe he will become a doctor at a young age because of this;)
1st Child: Sleeps in their crib from the night the come home from the hospital.
2nd Child: Sleeps in every baby item you have to get them to sleep. Swing, pack and play napper, your arms, anything to get them to sleep and not wake the toddler.
1st Child: Wears neutral clothing even though it looks boyish
2nd Child: Baby boy wears sisters jeans because who can really tell the are for infant girls and not boys? Seriously? Who can tell? They are so tiny.
1st Child: You and your husband keep a tally of who did what and who’s turn it is to clean this blowout.
2nd Child: Whoever can, does. This is survival mode. No time for tallying
1st Child: Date night = no children
2nd Child: Date night = only the baby in his carrier.
1st Child: Slept in your arms often and was held the rest of the time
2nd Child: Possibly has to wear one of the helmets to fix a flat head from being put down so often to attend to the toddler.
1st Child: Rolls as a new trick!
2nd Child: Rolls due to fight or flight. Their survival depends on. They need to roll away from the sibling, quickly.
1st Child: Pacifier falls on the floor at a store, immediately becomes hazardous waste
2nd Child: Gives it back so they don’t cry, hopes for the best. And if nothing else this will build their immune system up!
1st Child: Strangers and even family may not hold the baby until they can pass a health screener.
2nd Child: Anyone that is willing and able can hold the baby. “Great to meet you. Hold my baby, please.”
1st Child: You document every moment in photo and every new trick in their baby book
2nd Child: Around month 7 you remember you should probably buy a baby book so your child doesn’t need therapy in the future because that is more expensive than an unused baby book.
1st Child: Loves playing on the floor and rolling around.
2nd Child: Could care less about rolling around or crawling. They want to stand as soon as possible to make sure they stay safe from their older sibling. Their head is always on a swivel.
1st Child: Baby has a holiday specific bib and outfit for every holiday. Flag Day? You bet!
2nd Child: Lucky to be changed out of their pajamas and into real clothes. Who really cares if they have a St. Patrick’s Day “outfit”. It’s only one day (they won’t remember).
1st Child: Brand new everything, clothes, furniture, toys, potty.
2nd Child: Hand me down everything. (Sorry about the used potty, kiddo.)
1st Child: Mom has the occasional glass of wine to relax or celebrate a special occasion
2nd Child: Mom buys the big bottle of wine to make fewer trips to the drive-through liquor store.
As I write this list of parenting differences between first and second children I realize I may be considered a “bad” mom to a non-mom. All you moms out there probably think I’m not doing half bad, though!
What Parenting Differences between first and second child have are you guilty of? Share the guilt in this safe space!